Closeted Feelings
by Google Girl11
Summary: Rey hides in a closet to be alone with her thoughts on the events from the past couple days, but her Force Bond decides that alone time is not what she needed right then. Short Drabble/Lemon


**So I just watched TLJ and while I originally kind of shipped Rey and Finn just to ship something after TFA, after TLJ I'm 100% on the Reylo wagon and I'm never coming off. Though I thought TLJ was a bit boring, by far the Rey/Ben storyline was the shining star of the movie. The whole time I was like, just kiss already! But obviously there's this thing that real movies need like character development and all that jazz, which I felt really happened with both characters. So that's what fanfiction is for.**

 **Also Rey, Ren and Ben all have similar letters so I got annoyed and went back and switched all the "Ren's" to "Kylo's" to make for easier reading.**

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Rey exhaled sharply, thankful to have been able to escape the rest of her well meaning friends and find a space on the Millennium Falcon to be alone. Since leaving Crait, though reunited with her loved ones, she couldn't shake the feeling of loneliness that was plaguing her. Losing Kylo meant that she also lost the only person who truly understood her. Who she was in perfect sync with, who understood being abandoned, or for having power that others feared them for. Who took the time to actually listen to her and give her support when she was on Ahch-To struggling with her connection to the Force.

Her hiding place was a cramped utility closet with just enough space for her to lean against its back wall and slumped to the floor, head in her hands. The weight of the past couple of days caused a silent stream of tears to come to surface. Luke's merging with the Force and the countless deaths of the resistance were some of the main issues she was struggling to accept, but the one in the forefront of her mind, the one that she tried in vain to resist, was that she couldn't help Kylo see the light.

This was where she felt the greatest failure. She believed in the vision she saw for them and the fact that she was here without him, meant she did something wrong. Letting out a bitter laugh between her sobs, she realized that the conflict she felt within Kylo was probably the same he felt within her.

A becomingly familiar vibration of the Force caused her to whip her head up, her eyes meeting his dark ones. "Please, not now..."she whispered softly.

Kylo Ren frowned at her. "You know I have just as little control over this as you do." Though he could only see Rey, he could feel the claustrophobic feel of her environment. "Where are you?"

She shuffled backwards against the wall, bending her knees to create space. "A closet." He was shirtless again. "You?"

"My chambers. I was about to take a nap." He tested the restrictions of her space, limited to her environment since she apparently triggered the connection. "Too bad we couldn't meet there, it's much more comfortable." Kylo was still frowning, but sat down across from her, somehow aware of the limited space he was allowed to occupy. He leaned back against the door that he could not see but knew was there, and tried to mimic Rey's position, but found it uncomfortable with his long legs.

Rey watched him struggle, before sighing. "Planning on staying long?" She was met with his usual scowl, but she shifted so that Kylo could stretch his legs out, one on either side of her.

Neither said anything, just sat in each other's presence, thoughts wanting to come to the surface, but with neither voicing anything. Rey felt a prickling at the edge of her mind and naturally threw up mental blocks. "Trying to read my thoughts?"

Kylo gave her a sneer. "Only doing what you were doing to me."

She sighed. "Why are you here?"

He shrugged. "Seems we tend to connect when one of us is feeling lonely...though if that is the case, the fact that this is our first meeting since you left is strange."

Narrowing her eyes, Rey asked, "Wait, you are accusing me of abandoning you?"

"You DID abandon me. I saw our future. We are supposed to be together, you know it too. And I offered it to you..." His eyes looked sad, and his tone sounded defeated. "Rey, Snoke said he was the reason for our connection. But you know it's not true. Otherwise, our connection would be over with his death. And while we couldn't see -" he gestured between them "or whatever this is- each other, this has been happening to us for a while. Before you went to Ahch-To."

She looked as if she wanted to reach out to him, but resisted. "You know that I can't give up on my friends in the Resistance. That's why I had to leave after the explosion in Snoke's throne room." She broke eye contact with him. "I didn't want to leave you. I made sure you were ok, that you were alive and breathing. But I didn't know if you would still be Ben when you woke up, or if you'd be Kylo Ren again. And I didn't want to have to fight you."

Kylo sighed in annoyance. "Ben Solo is gone, Rey. He can't come back."

Fresh tears came to Rey's eyes. "I believed in you. And I still do. There's good left inside of you. I can feel it in your heart. I saw a vision and I trust it. Come to the light side...please." She outreached her legs to spread them on either side of Kylo and scooted forward, closer to him. She placed her hands on his bare chest and felt the heat of his body. "Ben, this is real."

He smiled sadly at her, reaching out to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear and wipe away a tear. "You know I'm too far gone for that."

She shook her head in denial and her hands turned into fists on his chest. "Ben, you are worthy of love and compassion. You killed Snoke!"

"I killed him for you! And our future!" He hissed back. "You are my equal, the light to my dark, the yin to my yang. All of my choices somehow come back to you in the end. But I cannot come back from the dark side, why should I? We need to leave the past behind. All of it. The Jedi, the Sith, The Rebels, everything. Start new... with us." He lightly cupped her cheek.

"Ben..." Rey leaned into his hand and found herself closing her eyes. "I-" But her words were cut off by Kylo's lips descending on hers. Her eyes flew open in shock, but quickly fell shut again as she let the passion and meaning Kylo was trying to convey in this kiss wash over her.

They kissed hungrily, with Kylo pulling Rey closer onto his lap and with Rey grinding deliciously against him. He kept one hand on her hip, keeping the rhythm she was creating while the other one snaked under her tunic to cup a breast. Rey threw her head back and let out a low moan, arching her back and tangling her hands in Kylo's hair while he applied kisses to her neck.

"Rey..." he whispered between kisses. "You mean everything to me."

She pulled his head back so she could look into his eyes. In them, she found lust and desire, but at the same time she saw fear and vulnerability. Lowering her head back down to kiss him, she did so tenderly, trying to transfer to him all the faith and confidence in him that she had. Reaching between them, she undid his pants and released his member, causing him to give a hiss of pleasure.

Kicking off her own pants, she hovered over Kylo, playfully rubbing her heat against his manhood, causing him to capture her lips again as she eased herself down over him. She set the rhythm while Kylo just let her do whatever she wanted to him, relishing in pleasure with every "Ben" that was released in her state of bliss.

He felt her begin to tighten around him, her eyes closed in concentration, lower lip caught between her teeth and willed himself to last until she hit her climax. Moving her hips with his hands to increase the pace, Kylo felt a mix of pleasure and pain when Rey bit his shoulder to muffle the cries of her orgasm while he continued to move her hips and ride out her climax while he followed shortly with his own.

Kylo tucked Rey's head into his shoulder while they caught their breath, him still inside her, she with her arms wrapped around him. "I still don't trust you," she mumbled into his neck, not wanting to pull away.

"Trust what you feel," he moved her head and held her chin, forcing her to look at him. "I know you believe in your vision just like I believe in mine. We are supposed to rule the galaxy, side by side."

Rey stood up and redressed. "We are supposed to DEFEND the galaxy," she replied coolly.

Kylo followed suit, standing and rebuttoning his pants. "'Defend,' 'Rule,' are they really that different? We have the same end goal, which is to be together."

Shaking her head sadly, Rey replied, "The world is bigger than just me and you. And even with all the stuff that has happened in the past, there is more at stake than just you and me. You say forget the past, but you carry yours around. You have not been able to move past what has happened to you before. You are ruled by your bitterness and resentment, instead of with compassion." She tenderly traced the outline of the scar she gave him. "You need to be able to serve others other than yourself. And until that happens, we cannot be together."

Kylo closed his eyes, "Rey please..."

She kissed him softly. "I saw a glimpse of the man you are destined to be when you outsmarted Snoke and saved me. The Force gave us a vision for a reason." She stepped away from him, hand on the knob to leave her hiding place. "And when you are ready to be the man you are destined to be...you know how to reach me."

He heard the door click closed, and when he opened his eyes again, he was in his chambers, alone once again.

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 **Short and not nearly as smutty as I intended, but I figured I wanted to get some of the solid character development in the story since I loved it in TLJ and converted me to this ship.** **This is probably just a one shot cause I'm the absolute worst at multiple chapter fics, but I needed to get this out there.**

 **Also I wrote another one-shot that could technically work with this story, but I felt like this one ended perfectly and I didn't want to ruin that. Find it here if you want (Poor Replacements). Read, Favorite, Review. Thanks!**


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